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Live Your Best Life – Stories, Attachment, and Resistance

August 3, 2012


By Elise Fee, St. George Magazine

Let’s take a moment to consider how you can live your best life. There are several ways of seeing and interpreting life that undermine our feelings of peace and happiness. When you change these few habits, you’ll find your life becomes increasingly calm and enjoyable.

Stories

When we weave a story around an experience, we create an illusory perspective on life. We spin a tale with our imagination or we overlay past hurts and experiences on the present. Yet the story is not reality and therefore we experience suffering.

■ For example: Marcus tells himself that he’s missing out on things — that others always get a better shake in life than he does. So when he interprets what he sees happening in his life, he views it through this perspective and he suffers.

■ Solution: Shift out of the story. Focus on the facts — reality — and accept life the way it is. Let go of any pejorative interpretations that say, “This is bad” or “I can’t handle this.”

Attachment

When we are attached to things being a certain way and then they aren’t, we suffer. Our attachment to the outcome looking the way we want it to look is what creates our suffering. If we are open to life unfolding however it wants to, we can embrace whatever happens.

■ For example: Susan interviewed for a great job and expected to get an offer. When the call didn’t come she became depressed, felt rejected and questioned her worth. If she could have remained open, she might recognize that this wasn’t the best job for her right now.

■ Solution: Recognize that sometimes things happen for the best, even when it doesn’t seem that way. Remember times in your life when you thought it was a bad outcome but in hindsight were able to see the gift in the experience.

Resistance

When we resist “what is,” we fight a futile battle. On the other hand, when we embrace whatever is happening and recognize that that is reality, then we can be at peace.

■ For example: Craig knows that his relationship with his girlfriend is over, but he just can’t seem to admit it and move on. If Craig were to accept the fact, then he could move forward with his life. He would still want to grieve his loss (i.e. feel the pain and sadness), but he would no longer be suffering (denying the truth of “what is”).

■ Solution: Let go of any resistance you feel about the way life is. Try to shift to a perspective of embracing life exactly the way it shows up.

These are just a few of the habits that interfere with our happiness and peace. I encourage you to take a look at your life to see how you might shift your perspective and begin to live your best life.

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